Why I'm A Movie Guy

Let me just start this off by saying, I love movies. Always have, always will. Now, that's not to say that I LOVE every movie I see, it just means I'd rather watch movies than do just about anything. This doesn't stem from any sort of laziness or lack of caring. This is something that has affected me since I was a small child.

When I was growing up, I sucked at sports. Never could quite get my coordination down. I didn't understand football, baseball bored me, and soccor was always just really.....HOT. I would stand in the field, sweating my ass off and wondering if the ball was ever going to come my way. T-Ball wasn't much better (you want me to hit a ball off a stick?), but I participated because my parents wanted me involved in SOMETHING. But on certain weekends, I would visit my one true love.........the movie theater.

I've never really lost that feeling of anticipation when walking into the theater lobby. The smell of popcorn so overpowering you almost get a butter buzz. The gigantic posters advertising movies that would grace the theater in the near future. The sound of the arcade bleeping and blooping over in the corner. I have a vivid memory of my mother taking me to see The Goonies and, while she paid for the tickets, I stood in front of the poster and tried to imagine how awesome this was going to be (and it was, my friends). But nothing could compare to walking into the actual theater itself. The enormous screen just sitting there waiting to light up. The sound of your feet making that band-aid ripping sound when you walked on the sticky floor. The glowing lights leading down the aisles. And the joy of playing the "Where should be sit?" game. "The front? The middle? The back? Let's just sit here."

When the lights darkened and the green screen came up, telling you that this preview is suitable for all ages, I felt this burst of joy. IT'S STARTING!!!!! Before the Internet, you really had no clue what new movies were on the horizon (OH MY GOD! THEY'RE MAKING A BATMAN MOVIE?!?) and each new preview gave you another excuse to come back to the theater (WE TOTALLY HAVE TO SEE THIS BATMAN MOVIE!). Then the movie would start, and for the next two hours, I was taken to another world, another time, another place. I rode on the back of the Terminator's motorcycle while a liquid-metal dude chased us. I visited Jurassic Park and went numb when the T-Rex finally made his synapse-bursting appearance. I watched Kevin Costner shoot a flaming arrow at my face. I watched aliens blow up the White House. I ran alongside Helen Hunt as an F5 tornado picked up a house, a tractor and God knows what else around her ( buy strangely never picked HER up). Sometimes, the movie just plain sucked (Remember Spaced Invaders? Don't worry, no one does), but the experience was still worth it. I would findy any excuse to go to the movies. My friends would tire of my repeated requests to go see something that weekend.

As I've grown older, I don't visit the theater as much. With age comes awareness and limited funds. And the invention of the mother-f@#king cell phone. Now, the crowds talk throughout entire movies. They answer their phones ("Hello? Naw man, it's cool.....I'm just in a movie...."). The experience sometimes makes me bitter and angry.
But the kid in me is still there.
I walk into the lobby now and get a kernel of excitement in my belly. I look up at the gigantic posters and smile. I get my butter buzz. And, if the movie turns out to be good, I leave with a feeling of pure elation. So, 30 years from now, when you go to the movies, look for the older gentleman staring up at the screen with a child-like grin, popcorn ready and knee bouncing. He's REALLY looking forward to this.

And if you answer you cell phone, he'll punch you in the f@#king face...................